Not romantic love as is seen in Hollywood, not based on lust or what the other person can bring to you, but a true genuine affection, concern, and caring for one’s partner. The process of loving someone creates a spiritual bond with them. Loving is the essence of our true nature as human beings. Loving someone not only raises our vibration, but it also raises the vibration of the person we are with. Because many of us raised in Western society have become so jaded by the concept of love, so hurt by someone we trusted with our hearths, we rally against it, claiming love has no role or purpose in the African-centered practices. Nothing could be further from the truth. To love someone is to care about their pleasure more than your own, to become aroused by their unique scent, to crave intimacy and connection with them. Descendents of slaves are fragmented and disconnected from our emotional selves so the concept of loving someone arouses fear: fear of getting hurt, fear of being vulnerable, fears of abandonment and the fear of not being loved equally in return. The opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. So, to form a bond with someone so intimately that you know them better than you know yourself is the primary goal of African-centered sexuality. Love yourself, love your partner(s); make choices, conversations, and commitments based on the emotional and spiritual connection with the person(s) with whom you choose to share your sacred and sexual body.
Are you ready for lesson two?